

here's to black and whitemaybe i want to wear heels to church tomorrow maybe id rather wear ripped jeans and a band tee maybe i want to do my make-up pretty so it glistens in the light and feels like angels glitter on my eyelashes and maybe i want to only cover my blemishes and reveal my tired eyes, dark circles and blank lifeless facehere's to black and white
maybe i want to look my best for God maybe i just want to relax knowing He loves me as i am maybe i want you to stare at me, entranced and maybe id rather be ugly and raw so you have to look away
maybe i want to go to sleep to rest my head m
| As a survivor of child abuse and trauma (as well as adult abuse), photographs of children have a very unique place in my heart. Even the most joyous face on a child can actually evoke SO much sadness in me. Images of sadness, abandonment and pain can actually rekindle a sense of validation and connection with me. Then, each image can evoke a different experience inside of me simply depending on the day I happen to view it. I never plan to have children and actually don't do well with kids (mostly because of what I've already explained; it's always uncertain and unpredictable how I may feel around them, let alone interact). The images of them here on dA seem to hold a nostalgic, sweet soft-spot in most people's hearts around here. For me, that's not the case, really. But, the essence of a child and capturing that in some way artistically Speaks to me. It's healing, while at times painful. It's beauty and joy and sometimes silly. But, most of all, it's something I want to Experience (vicariously through these images). Whether it's joy and carefree bliss in innocence I never got to have myself, or even tending to old wounds by looking at the pain in another child's eyes; I need to experience it now. Thank you to all artists who make this possible for me. |
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I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
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I believe in Jesus.
"Between the desire/And the spasm/
Between the potency/And the existence/
Between the essence/And the descent/
Falls the Shadow" - T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men
"In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni"
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